There was always this delight in watching the sea. It's mostly the currents that captivate me. And it's the shushing, soothing sound that echoes through my ears. I can still hear it when I close my eyes shut and picture the sea as if it was sowed within me.
And like a turbulent that shifts uneven, a current does too. Something as beautiful and sightseeing as the sea can become unpleasant too, maybe a little fierce. That's how I portray life in general—life as the sea. I've spent almost all my life just fantasizing about my future while I bypassed my current present. I was too busy thinking about where I'll stand 5 years from now, who I'll end up with, and what my life will look like.
The thing about the present is that it's fruitful. It's the most valuable period of our life that shapes us into the person we'll be in the future. Plus, it's the only time that you have domination over. Your present might not seem as amazing as your unpredictable future sounds, and despite the ups or downs you may face along the way, it's important to remember things do pass by, and time is a healer.
Rather than forcing yourself to avoid the 'confusing mess' or the sensation of being 'lost' and being uncertain of what your next step is, teach yourself to let go. We were taught as kids that our life was already planned for us before birth. Let us start putting an effort into trusting it. Let go of the uncertainties and act by the moment. A plan that you've made 10 hours earlier might change in a minute and becomes unexpected.
Why waste a moment I can control and cease rather pondering endlessly about future uncertainties? For example, I can start studying for an upcoming exam rather than listing 10 reasons how or why I could fail. I can choose to spend my Saturday to rest and reset rather than pitying myself over the next duty shift that I have to cover.
3 things to take home from this post:
Life is NOT supposed to be all sugar and sweet. It's meant to be HARD. It is actually HARD, FIERCE. But you can decide how to act on it.
Cherish the moment; live it. It creates the experience of eternity.
Let go of the uncertainties, or learn not to give them too much attention.
Relax; your future is planned and is not sprinting away.
Albert Camus once said, "Real generosity towards the future lies in giving all to the present."