If you're not a parent yet or not hitched, this post is also for you.
Romanticizing residency is all about the little things. What counts the most is being grateful for those trivial moments. Like, notwithstanding waking up in the middle of the night, at dawn, when the sun is set to rise, and my son wakes up and starts to cry to remind me of his feeding time, despite my bushed body and my mind that's urging me to pop in the pacifier into his mouth again and get an extra 10-minute snooze. I wake up and fight my will to sleep and feed him. And when I do. I lay back against the headboard to get a more extensive, wider look at my son lying in front of me. Full and satisfied. He falls asleep with his small-fisted hands above his head.
I look at him like he's a rare jewel. And he is. And my thoughts start to wander in the dim room. How could I possibly be a mother to the most beautiful, healthy boy? And I'm grateful again. I'm thankful for everything God has given me, mostly Rashid. I look at him smiling in his sleep like no one's watching and kiss him several times until there's no place to kiss, and I try to get to sleep to do it all over again after the next 2 hours or so.
We probably all agree that residency is hard. Now imagine how it would be for a parent. It is pretty challenging. I bet most residents love a challenge, especially aspiring female residents. As mothers, we tend to face an unusual set of challenges as we balance the demanding world of medical training and parenting responsibilities. Residency, known for its demanding hours and heavy workload, often requires unwavering focus and dedication, making it challenging to prioritize family time.
It means planning and navigating night shifts, morning rounds, and work-related mood swings away from my family life. Despite these challenges, I try to balance medicine and motherhood, drawing strength from my dual roles. My passion for obstetrics and gynecology also motivates me.
"What if?" It's a phrase I frequently use as the foundation of my life. I challenge myself to believe that I can at least try. It may inspire others and, hopefully, my children. Family is not a lapse but life's best achievement. I want to prove that everything is possible once you set your mind to it and are determined to follow your dreams and desires. My dream is not to have it all but to try to have the best version with the people dearest to my heart.
I don't want to grow up knowing I've delayed life's thriving milestones for a degree. I want to prove that while the journey is challenging, it's possible to thrive both as a doctor and a parent.
It's the little things that keep me grounded. It's his naked peanut-scented feet, his addiction to toy cars, his curly hair that I haven't mastered yet, his banana cravings, his first "Mama and Baba.", and a long list of other cute things listed at the back of my head.
I guess my son is one of the main reasons that made me see life from a different perspective. He's the driving force behind my determination to complete and enjoy residency. On the most challenging days, when the long hours and relentless work demands seem overwhelming, the thought of him recharges me. His existence gives purpose to every challenge I face, reminding me why I embarked on this journey. The joy he brings into my life makes the sacrifices worthwhile, and knowing I'm building a future for both of us keeps me going. His smiles and laughter are my fuel, pushing me not only to succeed but to find fulfillment in the work I do.
As someone once said, "Pursuing your career as a parent means balancing ambition with love, finding strength in both your goals and your family, and showing your children the power of perseverance."
So beautifully written!!