If you're reading this, I have been brewing my beautiful little one since October 17, 2022, or at least that's when my pregnancy test came positive. The idea of me being pregnant strikes me like a crazy woman. Not that it was impossible. It was just a different form of what is beautiful, amazing, and mind-blowing. You're creating A HUMAN, an organ inside of your body. Genuinely impressive, that's what has been posing in my head for the past eight and a half months like a neon sign: bright and loud.
The best part was watching myself go through the gestational process, learning and adapting to the fact that I was becoming a mom, like the only important thing that would come after labor was my child, as nothing would matter but him, as if all the world's worries and worldly interests become secondary and insignificant.
The most challenging thing I had to undergo during my pregnancy was getting to experience it alone since my husband was abroad for most of the year for a work-related program. He was out when I was about five weeks. It was shattering. Almost intense. The dynamic stages I had to go through to reach a point of acceptance was a long ride: but God's will.
I have missed him every day for the past few months. I wanted us to bond over this pregnancy since we were both new-time parents. I wanted to feel what's it like to be spoiled by a partner. Someone to help me wear my socks when I'm too fat to bend over and cannot see my feet anymore or get a hand over my bump to feel the first kick. Something in between.
And hear this out, the funniest thing was that I'm due by the time my husband sets foot in Kuwait. Ironic. Two of my favorite people settled into the warmth of my arms simultaneously. Plus, I'm due in June, which is my birthday. So it was a triple win!
Thankfully, this pregnancy is turning out nicely (alhamdulillah). The amount of support, comfort, and love my unborn baby and I received was impeccable. And I'm largely thankful to my family. To whom this pregnancy journey wouldn't have been easier on me.
My First Trimester: conception up to 13 weeks
I was drastically sleepy and tired. 24/7. If it were an occupation, I would be a professional, acing it with the sleeping schedule. There were also a lot of weird gag reflexes going on, like sudden ones; I remember having one in an elevator while I was covering a night shift. It was at that moment that I wished the camera was sabotaged. And I was a bit nauseous, but thankfully, no vomiting occurred.
My Second Trimester: 14 - 27 weeks
Ah! It was like floating on water. Very relaxing. So I bought it upon myself to start nesting. I started surfing the net and asking the newbie mammas around me to help set an all-essential baby list, including preparing a hospital bag checklist. And based on the multiple pregnancy-related Youtube videos I've repeatedly checked, I was assigned to start nesting and prepare my hospital bag at eight months pregnant (Ask me about my checklist.)
One of the top-notch pregnancy milestones I was eager to experience was baby movement. I was around 15 weeks pregnant when I started to show a little. It was endearing and unbelievable. And I couldn't keep my hands off it as if it were a new luxury handbag. Surprisingly, I didn't realize it was starting to move until I groaned about feeling gassy to my doctor. And my doctor went, "That's not gastric gas. That's your baby. It's moving."
Damn.
It was when the moment of truth hit me. My baby was moving, and I get to feel it now. To digest the idea that I was bearing my unborn son. And that was the start of our grand adventure because I get to bond with him now and sense the activity within my womb. It was odd, though, because I always expected a real kick, like a more gentle version of Bruce Lee's kick. But the sensation varied from gastric bubbles to butterflies, playful nudges, and soft kicks.
My Third Trimester: 28 - 40 weeks
Three words: hot flashes, sleep disturbance, and a colossal appetite.
I could continue, but briefly, it was a hot mess. A mess involving me to run to the bathroom 5-8 times in the middle of the night.
For this, I was grateful when my maternity leave began. The strain of leaving work behind was like turbulence, I needed to rest, but I also enjoyed working (I miss my work friends.) But whom am I kidding? Maternal leave is going fantastic! I was 32 weeks pregnant when I was officially on leave. However, the process I went through to complete the paperwork could have been better. It was like a heavy hike, exhausting. I had to collect more signatures than I had to collect actual documents proving that I was pregnant. But it all went well (alhamdulillah).
The best part was seeing him in 3D, an orange, much sharper image than a regular ultrasound. He looked much like a gorgeous blend of both of his parents. And I couldn't wait to see him. Though I think he shares my nose –he better be. I also managed to plan a home maternity shoot, the themes of which were inspired from Pinterest. (Photos turned gorgeous, btw.) I figured if I had already purchased basic photography setup gears, why not edit a small studio at home?
The Fourth Trimester: 6-12 weeks postpartum (after baby delivery)
–To be continued.
To conclude, this pregnancy journey was very much cherished. Despite some maternal fears and concerns that haunted me, I am thankful for the experience I was granted. Being able to bear a dashing piece of you makes you wonder about the endless vibrant possibilities that the future holds, the ensuing memories to come, and maybe how your mother instinct will respond.
As I lay my hand over my growing belly and whisper, I love you to the millionth times. I tell my little boy, may you always know that you've been wished for, longed for, prayed for, and will forever be loved.